Accepting all Parts of your Kids

When we as parents try to prevent our children from expressing who they are in the fullness of their being we kill off a part of their spirit. For they are born to be who they are - they cannot be anything else - and who are we to decide which parts are ok and which are not. Our job is to look to our children to see how we can be a little more of who we truly are, after years of putting up walls and growing layers to cover our true centre. Let them show us the way and let us accept all the parts of our children.

The secret to welcoming all your children's traits is, of course, by accepting all parts of yourself.

As I look into myself I find that all the characteristics of my children I have in me - both the endearing and the annoying.

Those characteristics that you dislike in yourself you will consequently dislike in your child.

Instead of just projecting onto your child deal with it in yourself, or better still accept it and see its good qualities and aspects.

You can do this by re-wording your self-talk. 

• 'My daughter is so bossy', becomes 'My daughter is a leader who knows what she wants out of life'.
• 'My son is so quiet. He let's everyone walk over him' becomes 'My son has such serenity and inner calm. I'm sure others will be able to learn from him.'

As you begin to see your child differently your behaviour towards them will change.

If there is some sort of behaviour we want to change in ourselves, first we need to name it and accept it. Then we can watch it change as, through our becoming more conscious, we grow beyond that particular behaviour or way of being in the world.

Our children simply want us to love them exactly as they are.

Love who your child is.

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Let your child be “who she is without being held back by your past, by your anxiety about the future, or by your concern about what others may say about you as a parent.”
- Naomi Aldort

“Responding with wisdom and love occurs when we are completely present and free of old mind chatter. Love can only be experienced in the present.”
-Naomi Aldort

“Nothing you become will disappoint me; I have no preconception that I’d like to see you be or do. I have no desire to foresee you, only to discover you. You cannot disappoint me.”
- Mary Haskell