Why Life is always Fair

If you have more than one child then you will be intimate with the established and irrefutable hypothesis that 'It's not fair', whenever one child gets something that the other has not.

My mother's answer to this outrage was always 'life isn't fair!', which kind of ended that conversation.

I choose to explain to my children that life is fair and then I point out why.
Now, if you choose to go down this route it is important to have a whole stack of reasons why it is fair - remember what each child has had or done recently, where and with whom!
So little Tommy hasn't just had sweets from his friend's party like little Wendy did, but what about that ice cream he had a few days ago when Wendy was away?
So maybe Miranda doesn't get to stay up late to watch something special on the television like her older sister, but neither did her sister stay up late when she was her age, in fact she used to go to bed earlier!! - you get the idea.

Another way to say that life is fair is to say that you get out what you put in. 'Whatever a man soweth, that also shall he reap.'
This is the Law of Sowing and Reaping.

Teaching Tool : a practical way to demonstrate this to young children would be to go out into the garden.
Sow some seeds and discuss how, with patience and nurturing, you will reap the rewards . Shoots will grow and eventually there will be beautiful flowers or tasty fruit.
Discuss how you shouldn't sow sunflower seeds if what you really want is tomatoes. There is a direct correlation between what you put out (sow) and what you receive (reap).
If they are taught in this small way that life is fair when they are young, then as they grow older you as a mother can begin to introduce them to the idea of universal laws.

By teaching them that life is fair you are introducing them to the Law of Cause and Effect.

Why is life fair?

  • Because there is divine purpose behind everything that happens.
  • Because you always get what you deserve, what you ask for or what you need from the universe.
Back in Ancient Greece, Socrates stated that we live in a world of law governed by a system of order, whether we understand the principles behind it or not. His Socratic Law of Causality was one of the reasons he was put to death. We know it today as the Law of Cause and Effect.
The Law of Cause and Effect states that everything happens for a reason. For every effect in your life, there is a cause or series of causes.
This law is one of several physical laws that are also universal, spiritual laws. Today science meets spirituality and we are able to apply known, measured physical laws to our inner lives.

In Buddhism this is the law of Karma. You make your choices (seeds in Buddhism) and bear the results (fruit).

Another version is Sir Isaac Newton's 3rd law of motion. This is the Law of Action and Reaction and states that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.

Actions have consequences. We control the action but the consequence is out of our hands. This is why successful people will be thoughtful about what they do and say.

To create 'luck' you need to consciously engage in actions that should bring about desired results. As Oprah says (who?!), luck is preparation meeting opportunity. This means that you make your own luck. Prepare yourself by persisting in doing what you need to do to work towards your success and when the opportunity comes, there you are! Success has to follow.

While your kids are young it is best to leave the dicussion very simple. But as they grow you can begin to explain to your children that often the seeds you sow are your thoughts, and the conditions and circumstances of your life are what you reap. Let your children know:

  • Your mind is the most powerful force in your universe.
  • Change your thinking, and you can change your life.
Learn more about the power of your thoughts in James Allen's classic book As a man thinketh.

Because the universe is not causeless and chaotic.As your kids become young adults you can discuss these ideas in a more abstract, metaphysical way.

You can begin to introduce them to the following ideas:

What you put out into the universe will positively or negatively impact your own life.
  • More than just what you say or how you behave, the strongest 'cause' is what you believe about yourself and what is possible in your life.
  • If you decide on a direction and take steps towards your goal with persistence and determination, the Universe has to deliver your success.
  • The exact details of that deliverance are not in your hands. You do not know when or how it will turn up, just have faith that it's on its way to you.
  • The circumstances of your life are the result of your choices (which is a blessing because it means you have the power to change them).
  • All of this means that you are the co-creator of your life!
  • You are a powerful being.
  • You are the most powerful being in your life.
Now you've learn more about universal laws, you can begin to pass the information on to your children.

It's only fair... 
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